Your home is a reflection of your mind is my slogan, and for a reason. Having experience of working with hundreds of clients, I have seen how each project floated up so many emotions. When I help people declutter and organize , I also help them emotionally. The emotional help is a huge impact that makes a difference in people’s lives, motivates them and motivates me to continue my mission.
When you think of organizing, which emotions come up? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? You are not the only one – this is very common.
I am writing this to share and to show others that it is ok to have those feelings and that there are professionals who can help and deeply care.
There are three phases people go through:
- The “get started” phase when people acknowledge the fact that they need help
- The “working process” is the time I work with clients to set and achieve their goals
- The “finish line” is when goals are achieved
In this blog I will be talking about the “get started” phase. This is the most challenging one, as it is like the egg and the chicken; when one deeply understands the need for help but has to recognize and have the courage to ask for it. It’s this little “push” that people have such a hard time with. It’s like a chemical reaction – you need to invest energy to trigger the reaction.
Getting started is 50% of progress. Once action starts rolling, it all becomes easier.
Why is asking for help so hard for people? Simply because it brings to the surface so many emotions, such as shame, embarrassment, guilt or being overwhelmed.
I have had cases when people scheduled with me and cancelled saying “I’m not ready yet”. One probably resonates with this, as we all have things we dislike doing so we procrastinate. We all know we will NEVER be ready for something we hate doing. That’s why we have to get started before we are ready; just jump into the water, and it is very hard.
Fortunately, the majority of people that reach out don’t back up and do put the energy into the “Organizing action”. I achieve this with lots of compassion and listening, as we all want to be understood and listened to. It starts from the phone calls, even before I meet my clients in person. I have sometimes people crying on the phone, which helps relieve the stress.
Examples of people reactions on the first call are:
- I don’t know how I got to this point
- My life is such a mess – I’m so ashamed
- I don’t think you ever saw a house like mine – I’m sure it’s the worst
- I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t take action to organize
- I lost track of managing my organization
All of the feelings above come from whatever people went through in their past lives; it can be a divorce, a loss of a loved one, stress at work, a home transition or a thousand different reasons.
That’s why EVERY CASE IS DIFFERENT as EVERY PERSON IS DIFFERENT.
My attitude is that MY ROLE IS TO HELP – NOT JUDGE. I believe this is the key to win people’s trust and cooperation and achieve the best results for clients and their families.
On my first visit to clients I hear phrases such as:
- “Is this the worst you’ve seen?”
- “Are you going to scream and run away?”
- “Be prepared for the shock of your life”
- “I’m really embarrassed”
Another important aspect is that many clients say “nobody in my family taught me how to organize” or “they don’t teach at school how to organize” or “please teach me how to become organized” this is all very true. Many LIFE SKILLS such as personal finance, cooking and organizing are not part of the school programs. If the parents struggle with organizing, the odds are that you will. This has a huge impact on people’s life course and self confidence. It’s the same as people don’t go to college just because their parents didn’t.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be like that. Being unorganized is not a “fate”. The other good news is that our past does not have to impact anything in our future! It is in people’s hands to ask for help and there are many skilled people to provide this help.
After a home tour clients frequently ask me “How do we start?”
The answer is very simple – we just get going. It is a process and one can’t see the end of the road without riding it! We progress each session until we reach the goals. Isn’t this better than being stuck and not progressing at all?
I’ll be talking about the second phase of the “working process” in the next blog.
My request to you is to share the emotions that come up for you when thinking about organizing your belongings or paperwork or anything that comes to your mind.
Sharing has a dual purpose – it opens our eyes to other experiences and then motivates us to take action. Share success stories to motivate others. Wouldn’t that make you feel good?
I appreciate the time you took to read what I have to share.
I would be thrilled to hear from any of you, whether it is an experience, a tip, a feedback. This strengthens my ability to better do what I love – to promote the well-being of people through organizing.
Always here for you,
Hagit Koren
Rediscover Your Home
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